Mario Bros. behind the scenes

So everybody knows what is really going on in the Mario series right?
Bowser kidnaps Peach and rapes her. I mean think about it-
Bowser has 9 kids. Where do you think they came from?
And I bet Mario hasn't even figured it out yet.
I'll also bet that Peach likes it because why else isn't she prepared
after being kidnapped so many times?
I mean if she loves Mario why doesn't she ever stay inside where it's safe?
Poor Mario. And I'm guessing that Bowser has a really
elaborate rape fortress because Mario has to journey all over the world to
find Peach. His rape schemes are really complex.
He does some serious thinking when he gets horny.
He designed his castle to fly, hired a bunch of evil goons to get rid of Mario
and has his castle with a few guards in it just so he can rape Peach.
Wow. Imagine if all rapists had this kind of creative plan.
And I can only imagine the horrors Bowser would put his
Eharmony partner through.
And what about Luigi? What does he do? He has no
girlfriend or job and in the Mario games, it says he is
a good jumper....prostitute.
Luigi is a freaking prostitute.
That explains why he's never in the (main) adventures- he's a whore.
He just gives away his meatballs to any noodlesucker with a few bucks.
Luigi, for shame. One of these days, Bowser will kidnap Luigi and he'll be sorry.
Bowser will rape him and rape him and rape him and when Bowser sees that
Luigi isn't pregnant, he'll rape him some more. Oh, Mario Bros. why?

Get ready to hurt

Lock and load- the gun of truth has to reveal something else. If the bullet resonates in your mind or if it
misses is the difference between life and death, buried and breathing. The truth is
uncertain, unexpected, shocking, disgusting. The truth is pain. 
But you'll have to bleed it out now because there's nowhere to run. Here it is.
Do you feel it? Do you feel a monster gnawing at your heart, your happiness?
It's called reality and it'll be back soon to kill you. Nothing is safe, nothing is
harmless, nothing is holy. This is the truth we're speaking about not fantasy.
In a fantasy world, we could all live peacefully together as one, as content people.
But we aren't in fantasy, we're in reality and you're about to die.
What? You don't believe it's that bad? You don't feel the hurt?
You must not have looked hard enough into the world yet, that bullet will bite you soon.
After you've bled to death swimming in depression you'll know you met truth.
Truth is sorrow, truth is torture, truth can not set free anyone.
Truth is almost the same as death although with death, at least you have
something to look forward to.
So taste the bullet, let reality drink your blood.
You can never live until you die, your pain will build your Heaven.

Metal

Heavy metal- the world's greatest invention.
Some don't understand the magical realm of metal and call it evil Satanic filth. That couldn't
be farther from the truth. Metal is to release anger, to scare, to express discontent. Metal began with
Black Sabbath making music similar to horror movies. It has developed over the years and
now metal is the most aggressive, loud and powerful music. Metal music helps people express
their anger healthily. If people didn't have this outlet, they might be out killing people and
I'm pretty sure that would be worse for everyone. Metal is rebellion, metal is therapy, metal is creativity, metal is great.
If there wasn't a Bible telling me otherwise, I would say metal is God.
Metal is an angel- it saves us from anguish, demons and darkness.
 Metal is exorcism- it helps us release our demons and have fulfilled lives. If metal is Satanic, therapy is Satanic. If metal is Satanic, God is Satanic and angels are Satanic and everything is Satanic. If you want to bash something, get your facts straight.
Even if you are an old idiot who can do nothing but hate, leave metal out of your insults because metal
might bite back. Metal, keep kicking ass.

The order

One day, a demonic priest walked into Dairy Queen.
"WHERE'S MY BURGER?"the priest said. "Sir, you haven't ordered yet." said an employee
He said" YOU BETTER GIVE ME A QUARTER POUNDER WITH CHEESE NO PICKLES OR I WILL KILL YOU! SATAN SAID IF WE DEMONS DON'T KILL, WE SHALL ALL BE DOOMED TO HEAVEN. IF YOU MUST KEEP ME FROM A QUARTER POUNDER WITH CHEESE NO PICKLES, WE SHALL SUFFER IN LOVE AND GOODNESS!
DAMNATION IS THE WAY! IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME MY BURGER, I WILL GIVE HELL YOUR SOUL. I WILL SLIT YOUR THROAT, CRAWL INSIDE, RIP OUT YOUR HEART, SHOVE IT INTO YOUR ANUS-" "How can you shove it into a planet?" "I HAVE MY WAYS...
WAIT, I MEANT I'LL SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS- THAT'S WHAT IT WAS."
"Oh, okay." "YEAH." "I'LL SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS, THEN BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU UNTIL YOU SHIT OUT YOUR HEART AND THEN I'LL TAKE YOUR SOUL TO HELL."
"Sir, that'll be $2.50." "HELL NO IT ISN'T!" "It'll be free?" "YEAH, I FUCKIN THOUGHT SO."
(He took the burger and disappeared into Hell.)

Sacrifice

We all care about someone- whether it's a friend, a family member, or someone you idolize. But would you die for them? Would you die to save their life? You can love them with all your might in good times but when things get complicated like this, would you help them? Yes, we all care but how much? I understand you could care very much about a person yet you wouldn't die for them- it's understandable. And if you did die for them, what happens next? Would they forget about you? Would they remember you always for what you did? Would they care about you at all? It seems like a big gamble but sometimes you can't rationalize emotions. Sometimes you have an indescribable, undying feeling. Maybe you would die for someone because you truly care, you find their life to be more precious than your own. Maybe you want to protect them. Or maybe you secretly wanted to commit suicide and this seems a noble way to end your life. Or maybe you just find the entire possibility someone would sacrifice their life for another to be stupid. I guess it all comes down to how much you value your own life. (If you love life, you're not likely to end it in the blink of an eye for someone else.)
I suppose it is sacrifices like this that truly tests bonds, love, friendship. So how about you- would you die for someone you love?

Children television

Anyone ever notice TV for children is weird? For instance, go back and watch the shows you watched as a little kid. Name one of them that isn't weird, creepy, or perverted. Any exceptions ,(if there are any), are TV shows that are stupid. For example, the creators of Dora the Explorer seems to think that if children learn uno, dos, tres that they know valuable Spanish- speaking skills. Another thing wrong with Dora is how are children supposed to learn from a blind moron? If she can't find anything right in front of her with a map, how is she qualified as having an educational show? What are kids learning? They're all telling Dora what she should have known in the first place. Blind people shouldn't have TV shows. Next, retards and deaf people are going to want their own TV shows and what do we do then? Do we give them a channel? What would they do with it? Would they have talk shows? Would they play music? Will they create a replica of Disney Channel? And it's not just the older TV children shows with issues- try watching Pocoyo sometime.
(It comes on Channel 169 at noon on Saturdays and Sundays). That show is hilariously odd (and vice-versa). On that show, a 3 year old boy, an elephant, and a duck are friends. The elephant is a girly narcissist, the boy (Pocoyo) is a weird idiot and the duck is really weird. On one episode, the elephant invites Pocoyo to a tea party. Pocoyo says he won't go because there's too much, and I quote,: "pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy!" And in the same episode, Pocoyo finds out what a horse is and goes crazy. He shouts "Horse! Horse! Horse! Horse!" and rips apart his friends until they make him a horse costume.
Another recent virus of  children's TV is Jack's Big Music Show. Here are some instances of that show's issues: (In an episode,) they ride around in spaceships with penises on the front of them, they (always) use outdated words like "neat-o", "swell", "spiffy", and a word they made up called "swinky", and that show also has random, stupid songs.
Why are children TV shows like this? They're so stupid yet they're called "educational".
They're so stupid, so weird and kids are raised watching them. Now you know why our generations keep being so screwed up.

Vitamins

I found out something odd last week- vitamins kill elderly women. And I saw something weird on the back of a Flintstones vitamin box- fatal overdoses of Flintstone vitamins are the leading cause of overdose in children under age 6. So what else do they overdose on? And why would children enthusiastically gobble up a container of vitamins? Do small children throw parties and take vitamins? If so, I imagine it would go something like this: "Hey Bill give me the cherry one. Oh damn that's good. Give me more!"
"Hey Bobby! Let's go back to your room and snort some grape vitamins." "Oh sorry Cindy I just got out of rehab. I'm sober now so I can't have any more vitamins." "Fine, whatever. I'll do it myself."
"Whoo! I'm so high right now. That grape Flintstone was so good." "Hey, are you alright?"
"Ha, ha, ha, ha. You are so funny!" "Okay then. Bye..." "(Crying:) Ah ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Why did she leave? Why did she go to Walmart?" "What?" "My mom..she left me to get...to get... peanut butter crackers!"
"Alright then..." "Police!" "Ah!" "We have you surrounded. Open the door." "Oh crap. Hide the vitamins everyone! Hide 'em!" "Okay you have to the count of 3." "Crap!" "One." "Mike, hide the grape one! Put it up!" "Two." "Hello, officer." "We heard you have vitamins. Is this true?"
"I don't know...Do you have Bengay?" "Yes, I have Bengay. Do you have the vitamins?"
"No. Of course not, we're not that type of kids." "You telling the truth?" "Of course sir."
"This is your only warning. Next time we're arresting you." (Police leaves)
"Everyone go home! My mom comes back in a half hour."
So now you know-don't take vitamins. Don't give in to the peer pressure. Just don't do it- Fred Flintstone is evil and he's out to kill us all (under the age of 6).