So everybody knows what is really going on in the Mario series right?
Bowser kidnaps Peach and rapes her. I mean think about it-
Bowser has 9 kids. Where do you think they came from?
And I bet Mario hasn't even figured it out yet.
I'll also bet that Peach likes it because why else isn't she prepared
after being kidnapped so many times?
I mean if she loves Mario why doesn't she ever stay inside where it's safe?
Poor Mario. And I'm guessing that Bowser has a really
elaborate rape fortress because Mario has to journey all over the world to
find Peach. His rape schemes are really complex.
He does some serious thinking when he gets horny.
He designed his castle to fly, hired a bunch of evil goons to get rid of Mario
and has his castle with a few guards in it just so he can rape Peach.
Wow. Imagine if all rapists had this kind of creative plan.
And I can only imagine the horrors Bowser would put his
Eharmony partner through.
And what about Luigi? What does he do? He has no
girlfriend or job and in the Mario games, it says he is
a good jumper....prostitute.
Luigi is a freaking prostitute.
That explains why he's never in the (main) adventures- he's a whore.
He just gives away his meatballs to any noodlesucker with a few bucks.
Luigi, for shame. One of these days, Bowser will kidnap Luigi and he'll be sorry.
Bowser will rape him and rape him and rape him and when Bowser sees that
Luigi isn't pregnant, he'll rape him some more. Oh, Mario Bros. why?
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Get ready to hurt
Lock and load- the gun of truth has to reveal something else. If the bullet resonates in your mind or if it
misses is the difference between life and death, buried and breathing. The truth is
uncertain, unexpected, shocking, disgusting. The truth is pain.
But you'll have to bleed it out now because there's nowhere to run. Here it is.
Do you feel it? Do you feel a monster gnawing at your heart, your happiness?
It's called reality and it'll be back soon to kill you. Nothing is safe, nothing is
harmless, nothing is holy. This is the truth we're speaking about not fantasy.
In a fantasy world, we could all live peacefully together as one, as content people.
But we aren't in fantasy, we're in reality and you're about to die.
What? You don't believe it's that bad? You don't feel the hurt?
You must not have looked hard enough into the world yet, that bullet will bite you soon.
After you've bled to death swimming in depression you'll know you met truth.
Truth is sorrow, truth is torture, truth can not set free anyone.
Truth is almost the same as death although with death, at least you have
something to look forward to.
So taste the bullet, let reality drink your blood.
You can never live until you die, your pain will build your Heaven.
misses is the difference between life and death, buried and breathing. The truth is
uncertain, unexpected, shocking, disgusting. The truth is pain.
But you'll have to bleed it out now because there's nowhere to run. Here it is.
Do you feel it? Do you feel a monster gnawing at your heart, your happiness?
It's called reality and it'll be back soon to kill you. Nothing is safe, nothing is
harmless, nothing is holy. This is the truth we're speaking about not fantasy.
In a fantasy world, we could all live peacefully together as one, as content people.
But we aren't in fantasy, we're in reality and you're about to die.
What? You don't believe it's that bad? You don't feel the hurt?
You must not have looked hard enough into the world yet, that bullet will bite you soon.
After you've bled to death swimming in depression you'll know you met truth.
Truth is sorrow, truth is torture, truth can not set free anyone.
Truth is almost the same as death although with death, at least you have
something to look forward to.
So taste the bullet, let reality drink your blood.
You can never live until you die, your pain will build your Heaven.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Metal
Heavy metal- the world's greatest invention.
Some don't understand the magical realm of metal and call it evil Satanic filth. That couldn't
be farther from the truth. Metal is to release anger, to scare, to express discontent. Metal began with
Black Sabbath making music similar to horror movies. It has developed over the years and
now metal is the most aggressive, loud and powerful music. Metal music helps people express
their anger healthily. If people didn't have this outlet, they might be out killing people and
I'm pretty sure that would be worse for everyone. Metal is rebellion, metal is therapy, metal is creativity, metal is great.
If there wasn't a Bible telling me otherwise, I would say metal is God.
Metal is an angel- it saves us from anguish, demons and darkness.
Metal is exorcism- it helps us release our demons and have fulfilled lives. If metal is Satanic, therapy is Satanic. If metal is Satanic, God is Satanic and angels are Satanic and everything is Satanic. If you want to bash something, get your facts straight.
Even if you are an old idiot who can do nothing but hate, leave metal out of your insults because metal
might bite back. Metal, keep kicking ass.
Some don't understand the magical realm of metal and call it evil Satanic filth. That couldn't
be farther from the truth. Metal is to release anger, to scare, to express discontent. Metal began with
Black Sabbath making music similar to horror movies. It has developed over the years and
now metal is the most aggressive, loud and powerful music. Metal music helps people express
their anger healthily. If people didn't have this outlet, they might be out killing people and
I'm pretty sure that would be worse for everyone. Metal is rebellion, metal is therapy, metal is creativity, metal is great.
If there wasn't a Bible telling me otherwise, I would say metal is God.
Metal is an angel- it saves us from anguish, demons and darkness.
Metal is exorcism- it helps us release our demons and have fulfilled lives. If metal is Satanic, therapy is Satanic. If metal is Satanic, God is Satanic and angels are Satanic and everything is Satanic. If you want to bash something, get your facts straight.
Even if you are an old idiot who can do nothing but hate, leave metal out of your insults because metal
might bite back. Metal, keep kicking ass.
The order
One day, a demonic priest walked into Dairy Queen.
"WHERE'S MY BURGER?"the priest said. "Sir, you haven't ordered yet." said an employee
He said" YOU BETTER GIVE ME A QUARTER POUNDER WITH CHEESE NO PICKLES OR I WILL KILL YOU! SATAN SAID IF WE DEMONS DON'T KILL, WE SHALL ALL BE DOOMED TO HEAVEN. IF YOU MUST KEEP ME FROM A QUARTER POUNDER WITH CHEESE NO PICKLES, WE SHALL SUFFER IN LOVE AND GOODNESS!
DAMNATION IS THE WAY! IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME MY BURGER, I WILL GIVE HELL YOUR SOUL. I WILL SLIT YOUR THROAT, CRAWL INSIDE, RIP OUT YOUR HEART, SHOVE IT INTO YOUR ANUS-" "How can you shove it into a planet?" "I HAVE MY WAYS...
WAIT, I MEANT I'LL SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS- THAT'S WHAT IT WAS."
"Oh, okay." "YEAH." "I'LL SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS, THEN BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU UNTIL YOU SHIT OUT YOUR HEART AND THEN I'LL TAKE YOUR SOUL TO HELL."
"Sir, that'll be $2.50." "HELL NO IT ISN'T!" "It'll be free?" "YEAH, I FUCKIN THOUGHT SO."
(He took the burger and disappeared into Hell.)
"WHERE'S MY BURGER?"the priest said. "Sir, you haven't ordered yet." said an employee
He said" YOU BETTER GIVE ME A QUARTER POUNDER WITH CHEESE NO PICKLES OR I WILL KILL YOU! SATAN SAID IF WE DEMONS DON'T KILL, WE SHALL ALL BE DOOMED TO HEAVEN. IF YOU MUST KEEP ME FROM A QUARTER POUNDER WITH CHEESE NO PICKLES, WE SHALL SUFFER IN LOVE AND GOODNESS!
DAMNATION IS THE WAY! IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME MY BURGER, I WILL GIVE HELL YOUR SOUL. I WILL SLIT YOUR THROAT, CRAWL INSIDE, RIP OUT YOUR HEART, SHOVE IT INTO YOUR ANUS-" "How can you shove it into a planet?" "I HAVE MY WAYS...
WAIT, I MEANT I'LL SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS- THAT'S WHAT IT WAS."
"Oh, okay." "YEAH." "I'LL SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS, THEN BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU UNTIL YOU SHIT OUT YOUR HEART AND THEN I'LL TAKE YOUR SOUL TO HELL."
"Sir, that'll be $2.50." "HELL NO IT ISN'T!" "It'll be free?" "YEAH, I FUCKIN THOUGHT SO."
(He took the burger and disappeared into Hell.)
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Sacrifice
We all care about someone- whether it's a friend, a family member, or someone you idolize. But would you die for them? Would you die to save their life? You can love them with all your might in good times but when things get complicated like this, would you help them? Yes, we all care but how much? I understand you could care very much about a person yet you wouldn't die for them- it's understandable. And if you did die for them, what happens next? Would they forget about you? Would they remember you always for what you did? Would they care about you at all? It seems like a big gamble but sometimes you can't rationalize emotions. Sometimes you have an indescribable, undying feeling. Maybe you would die for someone because you truly care, you find their life to be more precious than your own. Maybe you want to protect them. Or maybe you secretly wanted to commit suicide and this seems a noble way to end your life. Or maybe you just find the entire possibility someone would sacrifice their life for another to be stupid. I guess it all comes down to how much you value your own life. (If you love life, you're not likely to end it in the blink of an eye for someone else.)
I suppose it is sacrifices like this that truly tests bonds, love, friendship. So how about you- would you die for someone you love?
I suppose it is sacrifices like this that truly tests bonds, love, friendship. So how about you- would you die for someone you love?
Children television
Anyone ever notice TV for children is weird? For instance, go back and watch the shows you watched as a little kid. Name one of them that isn't weird, creepy, or perverted. Any exceptions ,(if there are any), are TV shows that are stupid. For example, the creators of Dora the Explorer seems to think that if children learn uno, dos, tres that they know valuable Spanish- speaking skills. Another thing wrong with Dora is how are children supposed to learn from a blind moron? If she can't find anything right in front of her with a map, how is she qualified as having an educational show? What are kids learning? They're all telling Dora what she should have known in the first place. Blind people shouldn't have TV shows. Next, retards and deaf people are going to want their own TV shows and what do we do then? Do we give them a channel? What would they do with it? Would they have talk shows? Would they play music? Will they create a replica of Disney Channel? And it's not just the older TV children shows with issues- try watching Pocoyo sometime.
(It comes on Channel 169 at noon on Saturdays and Sundays). That show is hilariously odd (and vice-versa). On that show, a 3 year old boy, an elephant, and a duck are friends. The elephant is a girly narcissist, the boy (Pocoyo) is a weird idiot and the duck is really weird. On one episode, the elephant invites Pocoyo to a tea party. Pocoyo says he won't go because there's too much, and I quote,: "pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy!" And in the same episode, Pocoyo finds out what a horse is and goes crazy. He shouts "Horse! Horse! Horse! Horse!" and rips apart his friends until they make him a horse costume.
Another recent virus of children's TV is Jack's Big Music Show. Here are some instances of that show's issues: (In an episode,) they ride around in spaceships with penises on the front of them, they (always) use outdated words like "neat-o", "swell", "spiffy", and a word they made up called "swinky", and that show also has random, stupid songs.
Why are children TV shows like this? They're so stupid yet they're called "educational".
They're so stupid, so weird and kids are raised watching them. Now you know why our generations keep being so screwed up.
(It comes on Channel 169 at noon on Saturdays and Sundays). That show is hilariously odd (and vice-versa). On that show, a 3 year old boy, an elephant, and a duck are friends. The elephant is a girly narcissist, the boy (Pocoyo) is a weird idiot and the duck is really weird. On one episode, the elephant invites Pocoyo to a tea party. Pocoyo says he won't go because there's too much, and I quote,: "pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy!" And in the same episode, Pocoyo finds out what a horse is and goes crazy. He shouts "Horse! Horse! Horse! Horse!" and rips apart his friends until they make him a horse costume.
Another recent virus of children's TV is Jack's Big Music Show. Here are some instances of that show's issues: (In an episode,) they ride around in spaceships with penises on the front of them, they (always) use outdated words like "neat-o", "swell", "spiffy", and a word they made up called "swinky", and that show also has random, stupid songs.
Why are children TV shows like this? They're so stupid yet they're called "educational".
They're so stupid, so weird and kids are raised watching them. Now you know why our generations keep being so screwed up.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Vitamins
I found out something odd last week- vitamins kill elderly women. And I saw something weird on the back of a Flintstones vitamin box- fatal overdoses of Flintstone vitamins are the leading cause of overdose in children under age 6. So what else do they overdose on? And why would children enthusiastically gobble up a container of vitamins? Do small children throw parties and take vitamins? If so, I imagine it would go something like this: "Hey Bill give me the cherry one. Oh damn that's good. Give me more!"
"Hey Bobby! Let's go back to your room and snort some grape vitamins." "Oh sorry Cindy I just got out of rehab. I'm sober now so I can't have any more vitamins." "Fine, whatever. I'll do it myself."
"Whoo! I'm so high right now. That grape Flintstone was so good." "Hey, are you alright?"
"Ha, ha, ha, ha. You are so funny!" "Okay then. Bye..." "(Crying:) Ah ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Why did she leave? Why did she go to Walmart?" "What?" "My mom..she left me to get...to get... peanut butter crackers!"
"Alright then..." "Police!" "Ah!" "We have you surrounded. Open the door." "Oh crap. Hide the vitamins everyone! Hide 'em!" "Okay you have to the count of 3." "Crap!" "One." "Mike, hide the grape one! Put it up!" "Two." "Hello, officer." "We heard you have vitamins. Is this true?"
"I don't know...Do you have Bengay?" "Yes, I have Bengay. Do you have the vitamins?"
"No. Of course not, we're not that type of kids." "You telling the truth?" "Of course sir."
"This is your only warning. Next time we're arresting you." (Police leaves)
"Everyone go home! My mom comes back in a half hour."
So now you know-don't take vitamins. Don't give in to the peer pressure. Just don't do it- Fred Flintstone is evil and he's out to kill us all (under the age of 6).
"Hey Bobby! Let's go back to your room and snort some grape vitamins." "Oh sorry Cindy I just got out of rehab. I'm sober now so I can't have any more vitamins." "Fine, whatever. I'll do it myself."
"Whoo! I'm so high right now. That grape Flintstone was so good." "Hey, are you alright?"
"Ha, ha, ha, ha. You are so funny!" "Okay then. Bye..." "(Crying:) Ah ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Why did she leave? Why did she go to Walmart?" "What?" "My mom..she left me to get...to get... peanut butter crackers!"
"Alright then..." "Police!" "Ah!" "We have you surrounded. Open the door." "Oh crap. Hide the vitamins everyone! Hide 'em!" "Okay you have to the count of 3." "Crap!" "One." "Mike, hide the grape one! Put it up!" "Two." "Hello, officer." "We heard you have vitamins. Is this true?"
"I don't know...Do you have Bengay?" "Yes, I have Bengay. Do you have the vitamins?"
"No. Of course not, we're not that type of kids." "You telling the truth?" "Of course sir."
"This is your only warning. Next time we're arresting you." (Police leaves)
"Everyone go home! My mom comes back in a half hour."
So now you know-don't take vitamins. Don't give in to the peer pressure. Just don't do it- Fred Flintstone is evil and he's out to kill us all (under the age of 6).
Halloween
What would Halloween be without candy? Would we still dress up? Would we cancel Halloween?
And since Halloween is all about candy, why isn't there a holiday revolving around ice cream or
Little Debbie snacks? I don't know about you but I think Star Crunches and Cosmic Brownies are just as good as candy if not better. And isn't Halloween a nightmare for people with braces? They can't have most of the sweets that we receive on Halloween and the same for diabetics. For them, Halloween must be a reminder of their limitations rather than a cause for celebration. And back to my original question: What would Halloween be without candy? Would dressing up alone be good enough reason to have Halloween?
I speculate it would be meaningless without candy- we would all be a bunch of weirdos. And if we substituted candy, it just wouldn't be the same. The traditional/ normal Halloween gives us childhood nostalgia. And besides, it would feel weird collecting Fudge Rounds and Marshmallow Treats on Halloween night. Halloween can be done only one way- going door to door in a ridiculous costume collecting candy.
So without candy, Halloween wouldn't be Halloween- it would be a new holiday or a cheap substitute.
So devour candy, eat the delicious steps to diabetes- it is your duty as an American.
And since Halloween is all about candy, why isn't there a holiday revolving around ice cream or
Little Debbie snacks? I don't know about you but I think Star Crunches and Cosmic Brownies are just as good as candy if not better. And isn't Halloween a nightmare for people with braces? They can't have most of the sweets that we receive on Halloween and the same for diabetics. For them, Halloween must be a reminder of their limitations rather than a cause for celebration. And back to my original question: What would Halloween be without candy? Would dressing up alone be good enough reason to have Halloween?
I speculate it would be meaningless without candy- we would all be a bunch of weirdos. And if we substituted candy, it just wouldn't be the same. The traditional/ normal Halloween gives us childhood nostalgia. And besides, it would feel weird collecting Fudge Rounds and Marshmallow Treats on Halloween night. Halloween can be done only one way- going door to door in a ridiculous costume collecting candy.
So without candy, Halloween wouldn't be Halloween- it would be a new holiday or a cheap substitute.
So devour candy, eat the delicious steps to diabetes- it is your duty as an American.
Friday, October 21, 2011
Cold
There is coldness all around us. There's been cold weather outside recently but that isn't the only reason for us to shiver. There are cold people with hearts dark as Satan.They get close, get your trust, then infect you.
They make you feel so disgusting you want to rip your heart out.
They leave and your bitterness and sorrows inside scream for revenge. But you let the anger die and let karma kill them. They come back around faking their innocence but there is no innocent poison, no innocent cyanide, no innocent insanity. And the same trick won't work forever, they will pay in the end. Karma won't be fooled as easily as they sin.
Wouldn't you love to watch karma murder those cold people, to watch karma gun them down and see the cruel bleeding in the streets begging for mercy? Some might say that would mean you're just as evil, that vengeance consumed your heart. I say it means you like justice. The Satanic souls shall be fried, the pure shall rise and live fulfilled lives. The cold shall be caught in their own blizzard, the murderers shall die.
Coldness- it's in more than just the weather. It's a poisonous tone of life. But if you make it through the blizzard, there are great things waiting for you.
They make you feel so disgusting you want to rip your heart out.
They leave and your bitterness and sorrows inside scream for revenge. But you let the anger die and let karma kill them. They come back around faking their innocence but there is no innocent poison, no innocent cyanide, no innocent insanity. And the same trick won't work forever, they will pay in the end. Karma won't be fooled as easily as they sin.
Wouldn't you love to watch karma murder those cold people, to watch karma gun them down and see the cruel bleeding in the streets begging for mercy? Some might say that would mean you're just as evil, that vengeance consumed your heart. I say it means you like justice. The Satanic souls shall be fried, the pure shall rise and live fulfilled lives. The cold shall be caught in their own blizzard, the murderers shall die.
Coldness- it's in more than just the weather. It's a poisonous tone of life. But if you make it through the blizzard, there are great things waiting for you.
The Offensive
The offensive- necessary or not? Do we really need serial shockers bombarding our ears with crap only to annoy us? But if we got rid of the offensive, would life be painfully dull? Is a happy medium, sad medium, or even a depressed medium necessary to give us a comfortable balance? I really don't know. I mean for God's sake there aren't any rules on how to be offensive. But on the other hand, if everything in life is making you uncomfortable with offensive remarks, isn't it a bit much? Sure, a bit of rebellious or artistic offensiveness
is good and crap but if there is offensive overload or an Offensive Doomsday where every thought or idea is provoking, when offensiveness hits you like an a-bomb and your sanity is burnt to a crisp, isn't it unnecessary? I don't know about you but if things got to the point to where all adults and teachers are as offensive as us teenagers I would be creeped out. I don't know if I could take it. But if there was no offensive material in the world, what would we talk about? What would entertain us? I don't think I would ever laugh again. But when the world is being offensive just to be offensive, it should just stop. So, I'm not dictating offensiveness or saying we should all be nuns. All I'm saying is if everything was offensive, offensiveness would no longer be great or offensive.
is good and crap but if there is offensive overload or an Offensive Doomsday where every thought or idea is provoking, when offensiveness hits you like an a-bomb and your sanity is burnt to a crisp, isn't it unnecessary? I don't know about you but if things got to the point to where all adults and teachers are as offensive as us teenagers I would be creeped out. I don't know if I could take it. But if there was no offensive material in the world, what would we talk about? What would entertain us? I don't think I would ever laugh again. But when the world is being offensive just to be offensive, it should just stop. So, I'm not dictating offensiveness or saying we should all be nuns. All I'm saying is if everything was offensive, offensiveness would no longer be great or offensive.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Music
Did I mention I like music? Well, I do. Music is my world and if you want to hear some great music, click on these links below. If you don't like good music, listen to Radio Disney.
http://www.halestormrocks.com/
http://www.lacunacoil.it/
http://www.pantera.com/
http://www.hailthevillain.com/
http://www.bulletformyvalentine.com/
http://ihategreenjello.com/
http://www.halestormrocks.com/
http://www.lacunacoil.it/
http://www.pantera.com/
http://www.hailthevillain.com/
http://www.bulletformyvalentine.com/
http://ihategreenjello.com/
Worst Topic Ever
Really? I have to tell what I think about Homecoming? Do I really have to say it?
Pathetic, waste of time, waste of space, terrible- you know, everything people think I am.
Homecoming...where do I begin? How about the queen? All candidates are Barbies. I have never seen so many anorexics in one place. Homecoming is just another way to praise anorexics and show that the only way to be called beautiful is to starve yourself down to 90 pounds and wear a fake smile.
Ah, it makes me so uplifted I might shit rainbows. What is the purpose of Homecoming anyway?
Is it to be made fun of because it seems that way. Homecoming, go commit suicide tonight.
Nobody (important) likes you.
Pathetic, waste of time, waste of space, terrible- you know, everything people think I am.
Homecoming...where do I begin? How about the queen? All candidates are Barbies. I have never seen so many anorexics in one place. Homecoming is just another way to praise anorexics and show that the only way to be called beautiful is to starve yourself down to 90 pounds and wear a fake smile.
Ah, it makes me so uplifted I might shit rainbows. What is the purpose of Homecoming anyway?
Is it to be made fun of because it seems that way. Homecoming, go commit suicide tonight.
Nobody (important) likes you.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Children
Frozen teachers in the classrooms falling to the floor
Now they can teach no more
All the lit kids, the little riot infernos burning down the halls leaving the building in ashes
Their happiness is an irresistable infection spreading on all nearby
School is out forever
Joy, oh joy
All the lovely moms are in comas their children stand by in shock
The doctor pulls the plug and the children cried, their bitter floods washed away their optimism
Dismay, oh dismay
All the strong dads have holes in their heads
They blew themselves away
Their children are alone and afraid
The helplessness they feel, the quicksand of depression they fall into headfirst
Hell, oh Hell
All the little children go into their houses looking for answers
Their seething sorrow, their burning pain
They look through item by item in a tearful state
The children all find a gun
They collectively pick up the guns and drop to the floor
Blood, oh blood
All the neighbors came to see what happened
And every body was a melancholy answer
Surprise hits them like a boulder and they told everyone the news
Surprise, surprise
Childhood isn't always cute
Now they can teach no more
All the lit kids, the little riot infernos burning down the halls leaving the building in ashes
Their happiness is an irresistable infection spreading on all nearby
School is out forever
Joy, oh joy
All the lovely moms are in comas their children stand by in shock
The doctor pulls the plug and the children cried, their bitter floods washed away their optimism
Dismay, oh dismay
All the strong dads have holes in their heads
They blew themselves away
Their children are alone and afraid
The helplessness they feel, the quicksand of depression they fall into headfirst
Hell, oh Hell
All the little children go into their houses looking for answers
Their seething sorrow, their burning pain
They look through item by item in a tearful state
The children all find a gun
They collectively pick up the guns and drop to the floor
Blood, oh blood
All the neighbors came to see what happened
And every body was a melancholy answer
Surprise hits them like a boulder and they told everyone the news
Surprise, surprise
Childhood isn't always cute
What if...?
What-ifs: are they downers or a great product of imagination? What if we had the chance to go back in time?
Would we change things or leave it all the same? What if we had the power to bring back someone from the dead? Would we take advantage of that opportunity? What if all our dreams came true? Would it be all we imagined? What if life was easier? What if gas was free? What if there was no president or laws? Would we be in a happy anarchy or in barbaric dark ages? What if everyone on Earth were rockers? Would there be any fans? Would rock truly exist? What if the world was perfect? Would we miss its flaws?
What if nuns were gangsters? Would they have a #1 hip-hop record? What if the world were a toilet?
Would we be taught in buildings of feces? What if we were inches tall and dogs terrorized us? What if the Walmart smiley face frowned? What if Satan was a chiuahua? What if Satan was hot sauce? How would he taste? Would he charcoal our tongues? What if death was reversed and we existed in death and then died and came into life? What if the Earth was a talking head? What if we were all cartoon characters living in an animated world? Would we each get a theme song? What if the Tellitubies were serial killers? What if the world was alive like a person? What if Elmo was depressed? What if the Cookie Monster went on a sugar-free diet? What if everything on this post happened at once?
Would we change things or leave it all the same? What if we had the power to bring back someone from the dead? Would we take advantage of that opportunity? What if all our dreams came true? Would it be all we imagined? What if life was easier? What if gas was free? What if there was no president or laws? Would we be in a happy anarchy or in barbaric dark ages? What if everyone on Earth were rockers? Would there be any fans? Would rock truly exist? What if the world was perfect? Would we miss its flaws?
What if nuns were gangsters? Would they have a #1 hip-hop record? What if the world were a toilet?
Would we be taught in buildings of feces? What if we were inches tall and dogs terrorized us? What if the Walmart smiley face frowned? What if Satan was a chiuahua? What if Satan was hot sauce? How would he taste? Would he charcoal our tongues? What if death was reversed and we existed in death and then died and came into life? What if the Earth was a talking head? What if we were all cartoon characters living in an animated world? Would we each get a theme song? What if the Tellitubies were serial killers? What if the world was alive like a person? What if Elmo was depressed? What if the Cookie Monster went on a sugar-free diet? What if everything on this post happened at once?
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
The night
It was a Wednesday night. I was at Juanita's waiting for Halestorm to perform. By the end of the night, I would never view life the same.
I walked into Juanita's where the music was loud and the people were drunk.
(In case you were wondering, no I am not about to say I was raped...Just so you know.)
One of the first bands I saw was terrible. They played the same riffs for every song and I think I knew why...The lead singer of the band was wearing a red t-shirt that said:
"Enjoy weed".
The next band was pretty good. And near the end of their performance, their female backup singer talked. She said these inspiring words:"I like to dance sometimes. I like to shake my ass sometimes. I like to smoke grass sometimes." So by then, I was thinking "Is this Weed Promotion Day?"
Then Halestorm arrived. Lzzy Hale sung in a dimly lit room then retreated back into the darkness. Seconds later, there was heavy riffage and headbanging. All I could think was that my love for Halestorm and music skyrocketed. I was transported to a magical place where nothing could harm me. I saw that I wanted to be that rockstar onstage. I wanted to be a musician. And by the time I got home, I couldn't sleep. I was too deep in excitement and awe. Me and my body didn't want the night or the aura of it to end. I felt like I was in a completely different world.
And ever since that Wednesday night, music has flowed through my veins and has been the nutrition of my soul. I will never be the same and I'm okay with that.
I walked into Juanita's where the music was loud and the people were drunk.
(In case you were wondering, no I am not about to say I was raped...Just so you know.)
One of the first bands I saw was terrible. They played the same riffs for every song and I think I knew why...The lead singer of the band was wearing a red t-shirt that said:
"Enjoy weed".
The next band was pretty good. And near the end of their performance, their female backup singer talked. She said these inspiring words:"I like to dance sometimes. I like to shake my ass sometimes. I like to smoke grass sometimes." So by then, I was thinking "Is this Weed Promotion Day?"
Then Halestorm arrived. Lzzy Hale sung in a dimly lit room then retreated back into the darkness. Seconds later, there was heavy riffage and headbanging. All I could think was that my love for Halestorm and music skyrocketed. I was transported to a magical place where nothing could harm me. I saw that I wanted to be that rockstar onstage. I wanted to be a musician. And by the time I got home, I couldn't sleep. I was too deep in excitement and awe. Me and my body didn't want the night or the aura of it to end. I felt like I was in a completely different world.
And ever since that Wednesday night, music has flowed through my veins and has been the nutrition of my soul. I will never be the same and I'm okay with that.
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